First Entry: Feb 6, 2012

Last night was my most vivid experience of lucid dreaming and sleep paralysis.


-- I am in my room. The walls are yellow, but lined with book cases and my VanEd portrait is flanked by M1 Garands. The floor is a thick, green carpet and I am sitting in my bed. I sense that am in danger. a girl from highschool (whom I shall refer to as Jane) removes her skin like a zipper. Beneath it is the beast from a short story I wrote. It beckons to me with long, clawed fingers, taunting me. I remember that short story I wrote was about intense nightmares, and not being able to distinguish them from reality. Despite the fear rising within me at the sight of this creature, I do a routine reality check. I look at the freckle on my palm and press into it with my left index finger. My finger stretches the flesh and bone of my hand like rubber, sinking deep into my palm. I'm dreaming. I start to wake up. "relax" I tell myself. I am not in my room anymore, and I don't know where I am. Everything is dark around me. I can fly. Maybe I can do it! It's supposed to be difficult to actually do in a lucid dream, but I feel confident in this dream. I jumped upwards and could feel an invisible force pressing against my legs tightly as I propelled myself into the air. If I could guide myself better...I stretched my arms above my head and guided myself parallel to the ground, feeling the same invisible force around my arms and torso. As I gain even more speed over a large ocean, the pressure increases around my body. It is constricting and eventually painful, so I decelerate and hover in the night sky. Then I feel an arm pressing down against my neck...I am choking. Something is strangling me.

--I wake up. There is nothing around me, and I am lying on my back in the darkness. Where my blanket stops at my neck, some invisible pressure is pressing down on my neck. I try to breath, but my lungs are completely restricted, no air was breaching my throat. I have to move. I fingers twitch against the blankets as I try to grip it to throw it off. My arms aren't moving, either. I try to move my legs, but they seize slightly before lying still. I can't breath, and I can't move. Wiggly your pinky!I succeed, and continue to flex my hand into a fist and throw it over my body. I try force any air out of my lungs, and eventually succeed with a slightly high pitched pitched groan. I turn my body onto it's side, and immediately can breath again. I gasp at the cold air and sit up with my legs off the side of the bed. I see my computer monitor is on. No...I turned that off before I went to bed...
I wake up on my back, my heart racing.

--After falling back asleep (I don't remember any dreams), I woke up in sleep paralysis shortly. I managed to roll onto my side after some struggle of will. As I would try to force my shoulder over my body, it seemed I would make some progress before falling back against the mattress. Once I was on my side, the paralysis left me.